Do you attend your family’s reunions? Have you ever thought about organizing one?
I just returned from my family reunion in Kentucky. Though it happens annually for the Meredith’s, I commit to attending once every other year, given the price of airfare, the length of time to travel, and the emotional capital.
I’ve had conversations with a lot of folks who say they won’t attend their family reunions anymore. Their reasons vary: I didn’t grow up around these people, or I don’t know any of them anymore. I can’t afford it. I don’t see the point.
I see the point. Though I was forty years old when committing myself to reunions every two years, it became clear to me that every person I met and every story they told had relevance to my life. Want to know why your parents battled noisily? Find out how your grandparents were raised. Do you wonder where your artistic talent came from? Ask your aunt if she knows of a relative with your shared talent.
But let’s get real; reunions are stressful, too. People travel long distances. Congregate in the host’s home, and still end up sitting with their own nuclear family. They don’t mingle, and in fact, they may not remember or have ever met the relatives gathered around them.
If I could, I would change a few things so that everyone left their reunion knowing more relatives and more family stories. I’d re-think a few things, such as:
*Have the family reunion at a central location such as a park or pavilion rather than in one relatives home.
It’s a lot of work for a family member to host a reunion. Those who host can’t circulate easily. They can’t relax, and spend much time and money to provide the event. The host may dictate who is and is not invited, counter-productive to the spirit of being inclusive.
*Give attendees name tags where they can write their own names as well as the names of their parents.
*Organize early mingling as speed-dating.
Another words, assign a relative, maybe the top five oldest relatives, to a table or chair by themselves, and then rotate in the other relatives, who can ask two questions apiece. Questions like:
- What was your best holiday memory growing up?
- Name your favorite dish your mom or dad made for you as a kid?
- Looking back over your life, what do you wish you’d done differently? What are you most proud of?
- I’m X years old. What were you doing at my age? Do you have any advice for how I can maneuver the treacherous roads in life ahead?
- Assign a relative to take an individual and group picture of attendees. They’re fun to have on hand for the next reunion, and can be useful when planning (gulp!) memorial services down the road.
What tips do you have for enjoying your family reunion more fully? I always enjoy your comments.
Dedicated to Uncle Gayle Meredith, who made every reunion I remember a little more interesting.
For more tips on planning your family’s reunion, click here.
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Love the idea of assigning tasks. This is a great way to jump-start the reunion in a productive, yet lighthearted way. Assigning or delegating tasks keeps the nerves at bay & makes the reunion fruitful from the very beginning, because the ‘focus’ has shifted. Smart.