My girls just before their abduction.

My worst nightmare was always this: I’d search for my kidnapped daughters relentlessly, and just before finding them, one or both would be killed in a fatal accident.
 
I nearly missed finding my father in 1985.  I found him when he was seventy and I was twenty, and he died after a few short visits. 

This week, I saw the movie Philomena, based on the book by reporter Martin Sixsmith’s  The LostChild of Philomena Lee, and remembered that awful anxiety all over again. Philomena Lee, an elderly Irish woman searches for her adult son, stolen by the nuns and sold to an American couple for $1,000.

What does one do when their laser focus to find a missing family member ends up with them finding a grave instead?

Just ask Cynthia Phan, who recently found her missing father after forty years. Dead. He’d left her Vietnamese mother Thu and returned to America, writing her a letter, 
Dear Thu,
I love you and miss you so very much. I will be back about 18th of March, 1971.Will you miss me? I will miss you. I am taking your pictures with me.I send you a kiss. 
Love you very very much, 
Standley”I love you and miss you so very much. I will be back about 18th of March, 1971.Will you miss me? I will miss you. I am taking your pictures with me.I send you a kiss. Love you very very much, 
Standley”

My father, many years before I met him

Cynthia didn’t know her father’s last name, and kept the single photo she had of him close to her heart. After a DNA test confirmed her father’s identification a few weeks ago, she also learned that her father died in 2007.
Still, Cynthia Phan looks at what is gained.
·        * Her name.
·      *   Her heritage
·       *  Surviving relatives
·       *  Context. Questions like Why did he leave me? Did he ever think about finding me? –have to be answered for the seeker to find peace.      

My daughters, all grown up.

The benefits to finding lost family members can be exponential. If you get time, see the movie and let me know what you think!

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