I should have done it a long time ago.
My good intentions to be a supportive mother, reliable worker, and consistent volunteer has has dealt a crushing blow to my rest and relaxation time.
I knew I was in trouble when friend of mine asked me to get together, and then rescheduled four times. It would be irritating at best when I’m less overwhelmed. Now tired and cranky, I told him precisely what was on my mind (bad idea!). It wasn’t one of my prouder moments.
“You really need to take time to stop and smell the roses,” another friend advised me. Truthfully, I don’t even like roses. I live life by to-do lists. Relaxation doesn’t come easy to me, so I looked up some ideas from two of my favorite blogs.
- From zenhabits.net I read Do Less: A Short Guide
- From http://www.rachellegardner.com/ I read 3 Ways to Change Your Thinking Today
Then I took Friday off work, making it a four-day weekend for myself, and made a different kind of list.
- Sleep in
- Read overdue library book Yoshiko and the Foreigner by Mimi Otey
- Have dinner/see a play with Ruth
- Finish implementing edits to manuscript.
Something magical happened after I accomplished #1. I spontaneously spoke to strangers while running errands. I even smiled at one or two of them.
I had a good cry after #2. What a tender story.
I fell back asleep at the play with Ruth, but dinner was a delightful rockfish made with a coffee sauce.
Somewhere, sandwiched between the fun, I went to pick my youngest daughter up from her dental appointment. I brought my Kindle, and settled in to read when I heard a familiar voice. “Is that you?”
It was my old boss from the battered women’s shelter I worked at 20 years ago. “How are your girls?”
When people I haven’t seen in a long time ask about my girls, it’s not a benign, just- making-conversation sort of a deal. They’re often stifling tears, remembering the profound loss they felt when my daughters were kidnapped.
Over the next many minutes, she and I filled in more than a decade of gaps. Our dentist joined us, adding in his own sad memories of the two year ordeal. It was likely the most bittersweet reunion that lobby had ever seen.
I came home, ready to re-write. Editor Karlyn Thayer recently passed away before she received my final seventy pages, and I’ve felt uneasy about working with anyone else.
But I felt differently now. Writing became joyful again. I reached the spot in the story in which the courts in Greece ruled against me, and I counted the cost of either leaving my daughters behind forever or finding an alternate route home, sneaking put of Greece and through Turkey.
The risks were obvious. But the idea of not trying was unthinkable. I thought about meeting my father for the first time, only to learn that the years apart had created a gap that could never be bridged. I thought about the life I had led before the girls were born, living in response to what everyone else around me wanted and needed. I thought about the hopes I had for my daughters, and the promise I had made to keep them safe. And I thought about how many people across the globe had joined my efforts to bring them back home.
These amounted to more than enough reasons to act in faith and trust in a miracle.
There you have it. A little more room for sleep and a bit more time for fun helped me remember what a miracle I’ve been given.
Thanks for stopping by.
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