Toledo, Ohio residents must have felt they traveled back in time this week when oddball mayoral candidate Opal Covey offered her thoughts on domestic violence in a forum for candidates.
Toledo, Ohio residents must have felt they traveled back in time this week when oddball mayoral candidate Opal Covey offered her thoughts on domestic violence in a forum for candidates.
Later, I attended my oldest daughter’s ultimate frisbee tournament. My more secretive daughter used her quick break from frisbee-playing to visit. She told me that her new boyfriend had objected greatly to her playing frisbee. It kept her away from him, and he maligned her participation on the team. My eyes may have widened, but I said nothing. “And I told him he should be supportive of my hobbies and interests if he wants to be with me,” my daughter said before she re-joined her team.
She’d paid attention. All those years of talking about the signs of abusive relationships had taken root.
When my daughter was a toddler, I got my first and perhaps best job as a domestic violence advocate at the local battered women’s agency.
We gave clients access to information like the online handout below from AWAIC. There, I learned the art of active listening. Active listening was followed up with a referral. No one should have to suffer alone, nor should they feel pressured or judged by professionals or loved ones to make the difficult choices ahead. As my girls grew up, I showed them the handouts I used with clients to start conversations, both about my work, and about safe relationships.
Listen and refer. That was the essential role of the advocate, as well as safety planning.
We all have opinions about how relationships should go. We want the best for our loved ones. We know they deserve to be treated well. We know emotional abuse is often the first sign of what will later become an violent relationship.
The mess all began in April of 1964 in Chicago, just a few months before I was born. Young parents of newborn Paul Fronczak were horrified when a woman dressed as a nurse stole their son from the hospital. Police were unable to find the kidnapped child, but around a year later, an abandoned toddler was located in New Jersey. He had big ears like the missing Fronczak baby. The bereft mother of the missing infant claimed him as her own, and he was raised with the Fronczaks, who by all accounts were loving parents.
Lots of us have histories we might want to re-write. But at least we know them.
Maybe the online community can help Paul Fronczak (or whatever his real name is) solve the mystery.
You can like the Facbeook page Who is Paul Fronczak and share the updates, or contact ABC news ifyou have a tip.
Wouldn’t it be great if the new media attention could put two families back together? Or at the very least, put a period where a question mark has lingered far too long.
Best wishes to the many efforts of Paul Fronczak. I can’t wait to see the resolution.
Have a great week.
Summer for all of us is half over, and for those of us living in Alaska, it will end in nano-seconds.
Not only that, we’re more than half way through 2013.
I find summer brings less time for writing, but adds time for visits with family, friends, and fun. With both of my daughters doing well, combined with the best weather in Alaska’s history and the company of so many I adore, my cup runneth over.
Let me not forget the other connection I love. You! When I get comments, emails, and re-posts, I feel so blessed. Connections, in person or online, are wonderful things.
Favorite books (Liz fun)–
THE BUTCHER, BAKER by Walter Gilmour and Leland Hale
The story of Alaska’s most prolific serial killer will now be told in the film On Frozen Ground with Nicholas Cage and John Cusack. None of us who lived here will ever forget this story, and it’s always exciting to see people you know (the lawyers, judges, not the criminal) portrayed by actors.
To follow that up, I had to choose a sweet book. AS I KNEW HIM by Anne Serling tells the sweet story of a daughter’s love for her father. I think most of us can’t imagine the extraordinary private relationship Serling had with her very public father. What a fortunate daughter.
And lastly, I may be late to the cause, but I love, love, love Malcolm Gladwell’s OUTLIERS. It’s a book I’d have never picked up without my book group’s insistence, and I’m so glad I did. If you wonder why you might not be a musical savant, or think about why so many Asian cultures children exceed American children’s math scores, give it a read. The author provides a different point of view.
Family. Friends. Fun. This is a good time of life for me. I hope it is for you, too.
I love hearing from you.
Thank you.