How was your week?  Did you get an opportunity to fight fair, like we talked about last week?

I did.

There’s something about having my routine upturned that brings out some of my worst qualities. I went out of state to see family early this summer. When I got home, there were more transitions at work to implement, and I’ve had a small flurry of out-of state-visitors. 

These are all very good things, but I seem to handle change as well as a two year-old who’s missed her nap.

It all reached a head when I sent a breezy text to my oldest daughter about leaving her house-sitting job and driving 30 minutes out of her way to see her aunt, who was to be in our town for only a few hours.

When she replied that she was overwhelmed and didn’t think she could make it, I took a deep breath and used my “I” statements.

“I feel like you’re a selfish jerk.” Nice!  Then I helped the message along by slipping in another no-no,  saying something akin to “and you always put your friends above your family.”

Fair Fighting Rule Addition– No arguing via text.

* Body language is missed.

*The brevity of text leaves out context.

* The harsh words are recorded, able to be re-viewed. Over and over.  It’s like having a home-stenographer.

If I could have a re-do, what I’d like to have done was to schedule time for a conversation that met both our needs. 

What I would like to have said was, “When you don’t make time for me or for family, I feel like you’re saying I/we aren’t important.” And  most importantly, I would shut my mouth and listen.

When it comes to family, sometimes it’s hard to follow the protocol.  But when it comes to family, there are usually opportunities for a re-do.

When something is important, it’s worth getting it right. 

Here’s to second (and third, etc) chances.

P.S.- No one was driving while texting. Extra credit there!