I love a happy ending. Today, the story of David and Paul Shannon caught my attention.
They’re the British brothers who were reunited with their father after a 30 year separation, thanks to the work of television show Long Lost Family.
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| The Shannon Boys and their father -Daily Mirror |
The boys’ parents split long ago when their father decided to resume his career in politically troubled South Africa, leaving his family in England. The boys’ mother remarried, and the boys took their stepfather’s last name, never allowed to speak of their original father. They were directed to call their stepfather Dad. The men, now adults, described a longing for their real father, and are incredulous that a father could walk away from his kids.
Now, thanks to the television show Long Lost Family (where were these helpful shows when I was looking for my father?), they’re together again.
Like I said, I love a happy ending. But here’s a story in which two parents have a lot of explaining to do to their adult sons.
There are lessons to be learned here. From my point of view, the most emotionally scarring facts the article points out what the boys experienced when their parents divorced were that they were–
- Left behind by their father.
- Forced to pretend another was their father, and not allowed to speak about their real father with their mother. This was an opportunity to comfort her sons, but it sounds like that in her pain, their needs were put second to hers.
- Not vigorously searched for by their father, even when the internet came along and made searching so much easier. Instead, he whines about hearing his sons call their stepfather Dad on one occasion, and says he thought it was best he stay away.
Separation and divorce bring out no one’s best. Let’s hope people look at the story of the Shannon boys as an opportunity to learn what not to do when break-ups involve children.
But hey, what great kids David and Paul Shannon are to be the adults in their family.Their parents have some explaining to do and apologies to make, but in the end, they are now a family reunited.
And that is the beginning of a happy ending.
Thanks for reading, and I so appreciate all the re-posting. Last week’s post hit an all-time high in this blog’s history. Yay!
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Yep. The Shannon boys really did become the parents in this family. Shame. Childhood is supposed to be special, magical, and full of adventure. But that’s not the case when the parents (using that word loosely) are the actual children in terms of maturity. A term I’ve heard used in the past is called “raising-up.” It means parenting-up, or rearing the parents in order to survive childhood. What a sacrifice.
Exactly. I made my own mistakes after my divorce, but I read THE DINOSAURS DIVORCE it helped set my straight. Great book!
I think that divorce is something that a lot of kids don’t want to see their families go through. One of the most important things about the long process is to make sure that you are being honest with your kids about the process. One of my friends is currently working with Marshall Davis Brown to make sure that he can see his kids as much as possible.
Thanks for checking in.