Why is it that we don’t talk to our young people about the ingredients to a healthy relationship?
It’s an important topic. More important than how to pick an apartment or good car, teaching our kids what a safe dating relationship looks and feel likes is critical to their physical and mental health.
Females ages 18-24 are most at risk to be victims of dating violence according to loveisrespect.org,
I would love to say this was a topic of frequent conversation with my own daughters when they were teens.
Not hardly.
After my disastrous marriage with their father, I didn’t feel qualified as an expert. Many years later, after a failed relationship of mine deserved an autopsy, I would dissect it with my daughters, but that was as close as it got.
Good news! There are a number of agencies and websites devoted to making this conversation with youth happen more smoothly.
Want to know how to start the ball rolling?
Check out the conversation tips at startstrongparents.org.
Then, be sure to listen to your child, not lecture, and remember that your child is looking at your relationships, even the one the two of you share to inform their decisions about dating.
For a sneakier approach, leave some literature out you can print from the internet. Below is from Start Strong Teens.
Talk to Your Teen about the Characteristics of Healthy Relationships.
Respect. Do your friends accept you for who you are? No one should pressure you into doing things you are not comfortable – such as smoking, drinking, drugs, taking or sending embarrassing or hurtful pictures or texts, or unwanted physical contact.
Safety. Do you feel emotionally and physically safe in all of your relationships? Emotional safety means you feel comfortable being you without fear of being put down. Physical safety means you are not being hurt or intimidated; or pressured into unwanted physical contact.
Fairness and Equality. Do you have an equal say in your friendships and relationships? From the activities you do together to the friends you hang out with, you should have an equal say in all of your relationships.
Acceptance. Do your friends or your boyfriend/girlfriend accept you for who you really are? You shouldn’t have to change who you are or compromise your beliefs to make someone like you.
Honesty and Trust. Are you and your friends honest with each other? Honesty builds trust. You can’t have a healthy relationship without trust. If you have ever caught a friend in a lie, you know that it takes time to rebuild your trust.
Good Communication. Do you talk face-to-face (not just text) with your friends or your girlfriend/boyfriend about your feelings? You and your friends should listen to one another and hear one another out.
Respectful Disagreements. In every relationship you have, you should respect each other as individuals and understand that sometimes there will be differences of opinion.
Talk to your teens about healthy dating relationships before they get their ideas from outside sources.
Thanks for stopping by.