How Do You Know When You’ve Found the One?

How do you know when you’ve found the one?

I’ve asked my successfully coupled friends and family at various times.

screen1136x1136It’s not like I would know. I haven’t had a relationship that’s lasted more than five years. Ever. And soon I’ll be fifty!

If you’re math challenged like I am, that means that only one quarter of my 32 adult years have been spent coupled.

(¼ of 32= 8.) And those eight years were made up by two relationships. Eek!

And yet?

Over the years, I have learned a lot about me and what I need, and even though I may go long periods without a date, my gut speaks to me immediately when a boundary is violated.

I don’t want to be rushed, crowded, or squashed.

I need to be listened to.

Feeling safe is a must. A potential partner must be in control of his own life. His financial, physical, and emotional fitness cannot be my responsibility, just as mine will never be his responsibility.

I want someone who looks to resolve conflicts, not to win them or be right.

I want someone who is positive and who is a planner. A person who emerges from a crisis with more insight. And who can tell me with ease what plans have been made for retirement. For aging. For the end of life.

photo 2(2)Do I ask too much?

Probably. But I can wait. I’ve waited 24 years since my divorce. After spending a lot of time with a new beau and his friends recently, I had the happy realization that no matter what happens, I do indeed have someone I’ve watched grow and evolve to embody the qualities I seek. Me!

As goofy as it sounds, I spent much of my youth thinking one day I would be rescued by the man of my dreams. I became an adult when I put more energy on becoming the woman of my dreams.

So how do you know you’ve found the one?

I can’t say for sure at the moment. But I do know I won’t torture myself in a search for anything less than what I offer. And I’ll do my best to enjoy the process.

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