How do you feel about change?
I’m thinking about changing my blog’s focus in the next few months, or maybe at the new year.
My second book, presently titled Facing the Odds, One Man at a Time is a fictionalized account of some very real experiences I’ve had over the years after leaving a violent marriage. Its funnier and sunnier than the first book (how funny can a book about inter-generational domestic violence and child abduction actually be, after all?) and covers the metamorphosis I made over the years as I learned more about myself and who I wanted to be instead of shifting my dependency to another man.
I think the blog will ultimately explore concepts like where do we need to be in our own lives before we can really find happiness with another, and what are things that make you feel safe with your partner.
I’m not ready to morph it just yet, but there will be a transition soon.
In the mean time, I’m waiting for my sweetie to return from two months of commercial fishing. I was writing today about some of the things I appreciate most about him, based on my early observations of his relationships with his kids. Though I changed the names of he and his daughter, the appreciation is based on a true story.
But what I like most about Don is his relationship with the women and children in his life.
I see him with his daughter, watching her. “I notice the way Danielle’s speech patterns change when she’s with her friends… I know Danielle likes soccer, but it’s her running that could net her a scholarship. Does she even know how great she is?”
With Don’s widowed mother, there’s the occasional lunch date he tells me about. “I can tell mom is nervous about fixing stuff in her house. I wish she’d let me help her.” Or, “Why doesn’t my niece pay Mom for all the babysitting Mom does for her?” Best yet, “I looked at men in Mom’s age bracket on Match.com. They’re all broken down and looking for a nurse. No way!”
I enjoy seeing Don’s long-distance relationships with his grown children. “I call my son the last Sunday of every month so I don’t forget,” and “My daughter is so extreme. Every thing that happens, according to her, is the best, the worst, the longest, the shortest of whatever it is.” Don laughs affectionately.
But of all his loves, I adore the respect he pays to his ex-wife, Haley. I love that he calls or texts her regularly about their minor child’s welfare. I love that he smiles when he greets her in public places, and that no one watching them interact would ever guess that they broke up due to her finding a new love, and once marital counseling failed to break her new love connection, how contentious their ensuing divorce and custody battle was. I love that Don backs her up with matters regarding their daughter when appropriate. And I love that he can enjoy good memories of their marriage without self-consciousness around me. When I ask him about their wedding day, he smiles and says that he believes of all their years together, Haley had never look prettier than on that day. It was a good marriage with many positives, and then had a sad ending, but he does not allow its demise to negate all of the good times.
So in a nutshell, that’s what’s on my mind. What’s on yours? What was a positive trait your loved one had that resonated most for you?
|Temar Boggs as seen in the Global Dispatch