How do you handle conflict? Do you try to avoid it? Do you tell a few friends about it before addressing it with the person it’s with? Which parent did you inherit your conflict-resolution skills from?
Fighting in front of your children is nothing short of child abuse. It can and will scar them emotionally — all because you don’t have the self-control to contain yourself until you can talk privately.
Don’t bring up old grudges or sore points when they don’t belong in a particular argument. Put boundaries around the subject matter so that a fight doesn’t deteriorate into a free-for-all.
Deal with the issue at hand, not with a symptom of the problem. Get real about what is bothering you, or you will come away from the exchange even more frustrated.
Stay focused on the issue, rather than deteriorating to the point of attacking your partner personally. Don’t let the fight degenerate into name-calling.
Know what you want going into the disagreement. If you don’t have a goal in mind, you won’t know when you’ve achieved it.
How an argument ends is crucial. Recognize when an olive branch is being extended to you — perhaps in the form of an apology or a joke — and give your partner a face-saving way out of the disagreement.
Every single thing you disagree about is not an earth-shattering event or issue. You do not have to get mad every time you have a right to be.
Arguments should be temporary, so don’t let them
get out of hand. Don’t allow the ugliness of an argument to stretch on indefinitely.